External Motivation, Part 2

Today I did something to help with motivation. I took a stack of 3 X 5 cards and on the top I wrote "Motivation Card" and on each card I wrote a phrase or a reason to keep me motivated. The first one that I wrote was, "Failed Mac Fire physical agility - TWICE!" I only have 2 or 3 right now, but I intend to carry some with me, blank and filled out, to help me with my motivation.

So, how did today go? It went alright. I chose wisely, avoided some temptation, was tempted by some Milano Strawberry cookies and some Red Velvet cake, but, you know what, I ate them in moderation, and had the points left over to account for all of it without getting into my weekly points. I drank all my water, and even though I didn't exercise, cleaning house and breaking a sweat was good for me. Julie and I also went to the pool for another swim lesson, so that is more activity (even though I don't count those as points.)

My parents come into town tomorrow, on their 43rd anniversary. They want to go to Outback, so I am going to be smart. I am going to drink all my water before I go, snack on some veggies in the car on the way and order a salad, steak and veggies. I'm preplanning my attack, so I won't be overly tempted (even though a bloomin onion is FABULOUS!)

Well, it's time for me to turn in. Night all.

External Motivation

I realize it's been a while since I last posted. To be truthful, I just didn't have it in me to continue tracking, working out, or even caring since I failed the physical agility. It just didn't seem worth it. Add to that, company coming into town, Father's day, my husband's birthday (I love me some Red Velvet Cake!). I just totally stopped caring.

Until today, maybe it is external motivation, but I heard a rumor that my dream job may have a Part-Time openings soon. Being a Flight Paramedic has always been something I've wanted to do, but my weight the past few years made it impossible. Now, I am within their weight restrictions, but just, just barely. So, my external motivation is to lose as much as possible before that rumored opening gets posted.

Yes, it is external motivation, but motivation is motivation and I'll take whatever I can to get back on track.

Ups and Downs

I last posted about my physical agility. I failed it. I realized that though I may have lost 40 pounds and am more physically fit than I was a year ago, I haven't been doing the right kind of fitness training for the fire department. I have been doing cardio with very little weight lifting. So, the heavy objects I had to lift and manipulate slowed me down enough that I missed time by 21 seconds.

I was pretty down about it, but then I was hit with another blow on that day. A police detective called me and wanted me to make a statement regarding a crime that happened to me over 20 years ago. I decided that since it was already a bad day, I might as well get it over with. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to make the statement, I just didn't want to relive it again, but it will help a current investigation against the same person.

These 2 things messed me up pretty bad emotionally. I tried to stay on plan, but didn't do very well.

So, those were the downs.

The ups - I finished the half-marathon!!!!!!!!! I walked 13.1 miles at a 17 min/mile pace with my friend and neighbor Darlene. I will admit the last 2 miles sucked the worst, but I RAN across the finish line! I am so proud of my medal, the fact that I did it and the support of my family. When I got home I had 2 balloons, flowers and a piece of cake waiting for me. Yes, I know I am not supposed to celebrate with food, but I just walked 13.1 miles, I think I earned it....

The downside about walking a half-marathon is that I can barely move today. My hips and feet are so sore. I am walking like a very old woman. My feet are blistered, I didn't even like having a sheet on them last night.

I am back on plan this morning, well, at least I am back tracking this morning. What will the weigh in bring on Thursday, I don't know. But, I will work really hard this week.

STRESS

I have a physical agility test coming up tomorrow for a fire department. If I pass that I have to take a written exam. I failed the physical agility last year by 2 seconds and now I am so stressed about it, I am having headaches, anxiety and all that fun emotional stuff that goes with it. I haven't been able to sleep and top it off with PMS and it is a recipe for disaster, which my diet has been. I have been getting plenty of physical activity in, I walked 6 miles on Friday night for Relay for Life and I worked all day out in the garden yesterday, lifting, digging, planting and all that fun stuff. But, I haven't been tracking and that is what I desperately need to do in order to lose weight.

I just want tomorrow to be over with. I want to pass the physical agility. Right now, I don't care if I get the job, I just don't want to fail it again.

So, I don't know when I am going to blog again. I hope it will be good news tomorrow.

I dunno

After last week, I don't know how I managed to lose 0.6 of a pound, but I did. What is really strange, is even that little loss when I was expecting a gain, is motivating. I wish I had found out earlier in the day, then my day wouldn't have been that crappy.

But the good thing is I feel motivated and positive. I have a VERY busy and HECTIC week coming up. I walk for Relay for Life tomorrow night, lab final for my students on Saturday, then on Tuesday, I take a physical agility and a written test for a new job I am applying for. Cap that all off, next Saturday, I walk in the Helvetia Half.

So please forgive me that this post wasn't longer, or that I may not post much in the next week or so.

Wish me luck in all my endeavors!