Oh Boy! :-(

Jack's birthday week was not a very successful week for me. I gained back 2.8 pounds. Big unhappy face. Despite earning 30 exercise points, it was not enough to overcome my two big downfalls. Cake and wine. I fell back into a pattern of using food (and wine) to overcome stress. I even tried saying to myself that cake and wine wouldn't make me feel better, and you know what, it didn't. I've felt pretty crappy.

Today is Sunday, which is my restart day. I've been pretty good today. I drank all my water, ate decently and even managed to make chocolate chip cookies for Jack without going over my points for the day. I am also getting over some GI bug, which made me tummy not feel so yesterday and most of today.

I am meeting Leigha at the gym tomorrow morning at 5 a.m. It may sound early, but with the amount of insomnia I have been dealing with, it really isn't. I wish I could understand why I am only sleeping 4 - 6 hours a night. If I try to get anymore, I feel tired all day.

I was good last week and even logged all the ICMs (inappropriate coping mechanisms) into the tracker. So, I knew I was going to gain weight. I just didn't think that much. I am coming to realize that I can't eat my weekly points and still lose weight. I do well if I only eat my exercise points. So that is what I am going to do.

1. Review my Weight Loss Contract
2. I can only eat the exercise points, not the weekly points.
3. I will blog more.
4. I will continue to log everything, even my indiscretions.

Quick Post

This is just a quick post to let everyone know that I am still alive and still going strong with WW and working out. I did have a slip up this weekend when it was my son's birthday party and I was just a little stressed. I ate way more than I should have, but got quickly back on the wagon. I have even worked out 2 days in a row.

When I get a little more time, I will sit down and post more.

Spin class

After ending last week using over half my weekly points last week and not working out as much as I should have (only twice last week and only 1 really good workout), I decided that I needed to get back into it. Leigha was very kind to lend Austin to come watch the kids while we went to spin class. Spin class was, umm, vigorous. But, at least we did it.

Yesterday, I got stressed a few times, but was good and didn't use food to make the stress go away. My mantra of "Nothing in the refrigerator will make me feel better" is truly working. I am going to WW on Saturday, so I should have a good weigh-in, so long as I keep this up, since it Jack's birthday next Sunday. I can't believe my baby boy is 5.

Too Busy to Blog

It has been such a busy past few days that I haven't had time to blog or even play my Facebook games like Gardens of Time and Tetris.  I last blogged Tuesday, weigh-in this week was Wednesday and I lost 3.4 bringing my total back to 15 total. I pretty happy with myself. Thursday, Leigha and I went to an early morning spin class, where I did earn my 14 points back. It was one helluva workout. Friday was a busy day and I didn't plan very well. So, once again, I got super hungry and let my animal brain take over. Taco Del Mar and a piece of carrot cake. I dipped into my weekly points much further than I really wanted to, but I did end the week with 25 weekly points left. Saturday was much better, because I was back at work, again, all day.

Today was a day full of fun activity, we went sledding in the snow, had 2 snowball fights and generally a good time. It was a really good day until late-afternoon and evening. My daughter has been so cranky lately and today she was exponentially worse. That just sent my stress level up and all I wanted to do was eat or drink. But, I am out of points for the day and already dipped into my new stash of weeklys by 3 points. (I reset my allowance on Sundays). I have been really careful tonight to make sure I tell myself that eating is not going to make my stress level go down. It has been my mantra. I am just waiting for the kids to fall asleep, then I am going to bed. Just so I don't eat mindlessly.

Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.

Water, water, everywhere

Why is it, that when I drink my 6 - 8 glasses of water I day, I am thirstier all the time then when I don't drink? Today at work, I had no less than 3 24 oz bottles of water. On my way home, I was so thirsty (and had to pee pretty badly) and I finished my 4th. What is going on?

One good thing about working this 9 - 5 job is that I am not around food and don't have quick access to food, so I can only eat what I bring with me. So, I ate pretty well today, even though lunch was catered. I am going to weigh in tomorrow, this time 1 day early instead of 3. I think I should do pretty well.

I want to get a work out in, but I am pretty tired and I have another full day of work tomorrow. After 20+ years of working shift work, this working 9-5 is going to take some getting used to.

New Job

I woke up this morning and seriously considered going back to bed. Thankfully I didn't know that my workout buddy was feeling the same way. We both got the the gym and did our workout. It wasn't the most vigourous effort, but, hey, we were there.

I ate so well today except for 2 things. 1 - my hubby figured out how to make homemade McMenamin's french fries. I really would have been screwed if we had homemade ranch dip. Then, I got really busy at work and only ate a little bit of my dinner. So, when I got home I was STARVING and my animal brain took over. I ate leftover chinese food and an adult beverage.

I went 16 points over my budget today. So, that means I have to earn 14 exercise points for the rest of the week to keep my goal of not using weekly points. I will try, I promise, but I don't know if I can with this crazy busy week coming up.

Pluses for today - I ate well, I logged all my food, I blogged and I worked out.
Minuses - I ate a little too much.

Back to the grind tomorrow.

5:30 is going to come way too soon

It is going to be a hectic week for me. I am working, working out and have very busy days scheduled. So, I don't know how much I will be able to blog this week. If Julie doesn't wake up in the middle of the night again, I will be up at 0530 to exercise with Leigha. If she does get up, then I need my sleep, because I am going to be up late tomorrow night. I am teaching 2 different classes.

Yesterday and today was more about portion controlling and staying within points rather than choosing healthier options. And you know what, I feel tired and sluggish. So, tomorrow, I will eat healthier options, better for me food and exercise, and you know what, I just might actually start to feel good again.

Part of the problem was that both kids were up sick last night and I didn't get a lot of sleep. Something must of clicked, because I didn't run to food. I got very tired and cranky today with them, but I didn't run to the refrigerator. Well, I did, but I opened the door and said, nothing in here is going to make me feel better, and I walked away. Progress.

I am still going to write that post, the reasons why I hate being fat. However, I am done for the night.

Progress to Report

I went to WW last night and was pleased with a 5 day performance and losing 2.4 pounds. I am feeling so much better, more energy, generally able to handle stress better.

I did have a splurge day Thursday after WW meeting. I started my new job and brought food to eat with me. I got so busy during the day, that I just snacked on my turkey-roll, drank water and that was it. By the time the meeting care around I still had 2 meals and snacks worth of points left. I would like to say I ate some healthy stuff, but I didn't. I splurged on a skinny cow candy treat (2 points), and adult beverage and skinny cow ice cream. I still had over 10 daily points left, which isn't wise on the long-term, but one day isn't going to hurt.

I have got to say that the skinny cow ice cream TOTALLY ROCKED!!!!!!!! It is a light ice cream that doesn't taste light. It was smooth and creamy and portion controlled because it came in a little, itty, bitty container.

Today, I have been good. I ate a little too much at snack so I ate a huge salad for lunch. Then, instead of going out to eat, cooked a healthier dinner at home. I gotta say, Jambalaya is pretty good. Savory and spicy and WW friendly.

30 min is better than nothing

I am proud of myself. I put in a workout DVD today after the kids went to bed. I actually did want to workout, even though it was almost 9:30 pm. I was thinking that I could do the whole thing, about an hour. Yeah, well, I was happy to get 30 minutes in. When I got started though, my body didn't want to work out. So, I told myself at least do 10 minutes. I got to 30 then I said enough.

So, I met my goal of 14 activity points for the week, and I'll probably get more, since I plan to go to the gym tomorrow.

Yay, for small victories.

1/2 a week down

So, it's been 4 days and how am I doing? I think pretty darn well. I haven't used any WPs and still have 2 APs left. I have earned 11 activity points, well on my way to earn the goal of 14 per week. I am also very proud of myself that I didn't fall back into an old pattern when things got really stressful around here yesterday. Jack was really sick (recurrent sinus infection, tonsillitis, refused to take the "yucky" meds), hubby was SUPER CRANKY and tired from stress at work. I constantly had to tell myself that going to the refrigerator and eating high calorie food was going to do nothing for the stress and only make it worse. Something seemed to click with that statement, when I was staring into the fridge looking for something bad to eat, nothing in the refrigerator was going to make the stress at home any better. NOTHING I PUT INTO MY MOUTH IS GOING TO MAKE THE STRESS ANY  BETTER OR MAKE ME FEEL BETTER SO WHY EAT IT?

The most important thing is that I am feeling better. I feel in control, maybe even positive. I can already fit back into a pair of jeans that I couldn't a week ago.

It is taking a lot of mental energy, but, I am hoping that it gets to be second nature in a few weeks.

By the way, if you are reading this, please comment. Your comments truly make me more motivated to stay on track.

Next post - Why I hate being fat.

New Year, New Motivation or Here We Go Again

I am a food addict. There is no way around it. I have such an unhealthy relationship with food. 

When I am depressed I eat and I have been pretty depressed for the past 6 - 8 months or so. Part of the problem is that I stopped taking my anti-depressant regularly. I would forget in the morning, then remember, then get distracted and forget. Take the depression, the gaining weight and not fitting into some clothes and it was a big spiral downward.

I didn't take the WW lifestyle to heart. I followed the program and lost weight, but never addressed the problem of why I over-eat. I forgot that I felt great when I was eating well and exercising I felt better. 

I have written myself a weight-loss contract. It is something I will carry with me in hopes that it will help me make good choices.

Here is the Contract so far:

Weight Loss Contract;

1.      I will start going to WW meetings on Saturday mornings

2.      My week will start Sundays.

3.      My goal will be not to use my WPs.

4.      I am allowed 1 soda a day, the rest will be water, iced tea or other non-carbonated, non sugared drink.

5.      I will drink at least 6 glasses of water

6.      I may not have an alcoholic beverage unless I work out that day, and may only drink the number of points I earned.

7.      For every 10 pounds I lose, I may buy 1 $10 item that I normally wouldn’t buy for myself. For example, a new bracelet or make-up.

8.      I may subscribe to WW magazine.

9.      I will work out at least 3 times a week, at least 10 minutes.

10.  If I am having a depressing or really rough day, I will re-read this list in its entirety and look at my weight trackers to remember that I gained back everything plus some.

11.  I will blog at least 3 times a week, ideally at least once a day.

12.  If I cannot make it to the gym, I will put a workout DVD in.

13.  I will take my well-butrin every morning.

14.  I will get dressed every day. I will allow myself only 1 pajama day a WW week.

15.  When I am at home with the children and we are having a bad day, instead of running to the kitchen looking for food to eat, I will …

a.       Walk up and down the stairs until I feel better

b.      Chew gum and blow bubble gum bubbles.

c.       Choose to eat fruit or veggies

d.      Eat a controlled portion of not-so-great choices

So, here we go again.