Another gain

Well, the last 3 days weren't enough to undo the damage of the last 10 days. I gained again, and this time it was big. I gained 1.2 pounds. I know it doesn't seem like much, but considering how hard it is to lose weight and how quickly it comes back on, you can see why I am pretty down.

I don't like this feeling. I don't like being unsuccessful at losing weight. Logically and in my brain I know it is a normal part of weight loss, that I must take the consequences of my unwise choices, etc, etc, etc.....But it still feels really bad when I screw up and set myself back. All that hard work, now I have to re-lose the 2.2 pounds I've gained over the last month. And it just doesn't come off that easily. Emotionally, I am pretty down on myself. I wish I could go back to the first few weeks when I was down because I only lost 0.6 pounds or a pound and kick myself in the butt. I would give anything to have those numbers, instead of the gains I've had the previous two weeks.

You know how looking back on things it seems like it was easier. Well, that is the way weight loss is. When I first started the program it seemed like the weight just fell off. I also had goals to work towards, the second meeting, the first 5 pounds, 5% and 10%, goals and the 16 week Stay and Succeed charm. Now, it doesn't seem like I have an external small goal to work towards. I mean I can still get the 5 pound stickers, and the 50 pound medallion, but those seem so far away.

I am only 1/3 the way through my weight loss journey. I still have almost 60 lbs still to go. It just seems like I am on the huge uphill battle and I am doubting whether if I can keep on keeping on.

So, I can't think about the 60 lbs or the huge hurdles still in front of me. My goal for this week is to measure all my food (I actually bought the over-priced pre-portioned measuring utensils from WW), track faithfully and truthfully and to exercise at least twice this week.

I truly don't know if I would have stayed for the entire meeting, if it hadn't been for my WW buddy and friend Bernie. Thanks for being there and being my support! I also need to be more accountable, so I promised Bernie I would exercise at least 2 times this week, before the next weigh in.

Well, I think I will blog again in the morning, I've got a lot of random weight loss thoughts running through my head, but I am so tired to put them in order.