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No matter what I seem to do, I can't seem to stay motivated. I have tried many different external motivations since my internal motivation has seemed to tank, for the past 8 months. Sigh.

What am I going to do? I am not happy with where I am. Even though I am still wavering around the 40 pound loss mark, I feel fat and uncomfortable again, like I did when I had the extra weight on. I no longer feel good about my weight loss and how I look. I am dissatisfied with my progress. I don't want to give up, but how can I justify the $40 month for WW.

Yesterday, I went to the state paramedic exam where I ran into 2 ladies that have weight problems as well. One lady lost 115 lbs over 2 years and looks awesome. She said that she has 20 lbs to go. The other lady lost 30 and has plateau'd for a year. Ugh, I want to be like the first and not like the latter.

I am just frustrated.

On a positive note, I went to the gym this morning. Got a workout in, it wasn't the hardest or longest, but at least I did it. 20 min on the elliptical, 20 min of weight lifting and 20 min of walking (I walked to the gym and back). I also ate a healthy breakfast and am going to limit my fruit intake to 2 servings. The rest will have to be veggies.

I also am trying something new with tracking. Instead of my using weekly points, I am going to use my activity points first. My goal will be to try to keep all my weekly points and spend only my activity points. It seemed to work for today. Last night I said I could have a glass of wine if I woke up early and went to the gym. Well, that is what I did.

Until the next time, which hopefully will be tomorrow.