Taking a Break

I am sorry I haven't blogged in a while. I haven't felt motivated to blog, and I haven't had a lot of free time to spend on the computer. I have yet to figure out how to blog from my phone.

I have decided to take a break until we get back from Montana in early September. That doesn't mean I am going to go back to the way I was eating, I am still going to make healthier choices, drink water and exercise, but going to meetings and logging food are out until I get back.

Don't get me wrong, I still want to lose weight, but I have found that I am too stressing way too much on the yo-yo I am on right now. I have been at this almost a year and the past 6 months haven't been very successful except at maintaining.

Will I still blog? I am going to try.

We get back after labor day and that is when I am going to start again. I did this last year before I started WW, and it worked. I am going to do the same thing, and maybe I'll lose the last 40 pounds.

A Letter to My Friends

To My Mommy, My Dear Hubby (whom I doubt will read this) My Beautiful Friend (the one who gets lost in the woods) and my WW Buddy and all others whom share this journey with me:


I am not a wordsmith, so I had scour the web for some quotes that let me somehow transfer my gratitude for you into words. Thank you so much for being there.


Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours. - Ludwig Van Beethoven

Friendships are fragile things and require as much care in handling as any other fragile and precious thing. - Randolph S. Bourne

What is a Friend? I will tell you. It is a person with whom you dare to be yourself. - Frank Crane

Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. 

The important thing is to make it meaningful: 

a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day. - Dalai Lama

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive. - Anais Nin

The friends who grew up with you deserve a special respect. The ones who stuck by you shoulder to shoulder, in a time where nothing was certain, all life lay ahead, and every road led home. - The Wonder Years

At home one relies on parents; away from home one relies on friends. - Chinese Proverb

Cherish your human connections: your relationships with friends and family. - Barbara Bush

Memories last forever, never do they die, Friends stick together and never really say Goodbye - Ralph Waldo Emerson

We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them. - Thucydides

A faithful friend is the medicine of life. - Apocrypha

It is great to have friends when one is young, but indeed it is still more so when you are getting old. When we are young, friends are like everything else a matter of course. In the old days we know what it means to have them. - Edvard Grieg

The light of friendship is like light of phosphorus, seen plainest when all around is dark. - Crowell

Friendship is a treasure that always help us overcome any kind of difficulty, Friendship is a comfort for, somehow which always understand worries and emotions, Friendship is a blessing because it teaches the way to live. - Unknown

You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you. - Ann Landers

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. - Erich Segal

True Friendship never dies A true friend is there always Through good times and bad Through sorrow and grief A true friend will never walk away They are here to stay They are heaven sent from above God's Special Angels full of love And such Grace, You will know Them from the smiles upon their face. Sent to you from the Lord God above! - Karen Sue Magee

Friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life; and thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine. - Thomas Jefferson

If you go looking for a friend, you're going to find they're very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere. - Zig Ziglar

Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself — and especially to feel. Or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to — letting a person be what he really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be. To keep their love, you keep pretending — performing. You get to love your pretense. It's true, we're locked in an image, an act — and the sad thing is, people get so used to their image — they grow attached to their masks. They love their chains. They forget all about who they really are. And if you try to remind them, they hate you for it — they feel like you're trying to steal their most precious possession. - Jim Morrison

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor to measure words but to pour them all out, just as it is, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keeping what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away. - George Elliot

The only service a friend can really render is to keep your courage by holding up to you a mirror in which you can see a noble image of yourself. - George Bernard Shaw

If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship, we must love friends for their sake rather than for our own. - Bronte Charlotte

...as we bend with the wind, and change with the times... We will always have our friendship. - Unknown

Volunteers are caring friends - Don Williams

To betray a friend is worse than to be betrayed by one. - Unknown

Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow-ripening fruit. - Aristotle

A faithful friend is a strong defense: and he that hath found such an one hath found a treasure. - Ecclesiasticus 6:14

Trying to work out and it's not working out

I am on shift at Molalla today. I am trying to be good and work out. But, twice now, when I've gone to the gym, I get a call. WTH! I have the desire to workout, but now, not the time. Usually, it is the other way around. Grr.

Again

Again, I am trying. I am struggling, but I am hanging in there. I had all the greatest intentions in the world to wake up early this morning and go to the gym. I even asked hubby to wake me up with him, so I could go when he was getting ready for work and be back by the time he had to leave. That was until my daughter decided to not sleep very well. Poor girl had a nightmare and screamed for mommy. It was such a heart-breaking sound. We ended up on the couch from 1030 to 3:30, when I put her back to bed and she finally slept. I, however, did not get back to sleep very well.

I did, however, bring workout clothes to Molalla with me so that I can work out while I am on shift. I am going to try to run for 60 min today. (Well, 2 min increments - walk 2, jog 2) so that I can get a lot of activity points. I am in the negative for weekly points right now and want to earn some back. I also packed lunch and dinner and healthy snacks. (Unfortunately, some snacks I bought thinking they were healthy were really 3 points. It just goes to show you that if something tastes good it has a lot of points.)

I constantly have a dialogue with myself regarding eating. I crave certain foods and I have to struggle with myself to say, hey, if you want that helicopter job, you need to lose some more weight. I have to remind myself that I am not happy with the weight I am at, and want to lose at least 20 more. I really doubt I am going to get to my ultimate weight, even though I will try. Lately, for the most part, I have been winning my debates. But, when I don't, I truly screw up.

Not to transfer blame, but I was doing so much better on the old system. That old system, I could eat like I was used to, just much less and lose the weight. This new system forces you to eat in a way that I am not happy with and frankly doesn't fit my lifestyle. I wish I hadn't gotten rid of my old calculator and the old stuff. If I could find all that old stuff, and maybe an old on-line tracker, I could go back to that and see if I started losing weight again.

Well, this has been a long blog but has been very cathartic. My goal is to blog at least once a day, maybe more.

Now - here is a favor for all of you who read this. Please leave a comment for me, especially when I haven't blogged in a day or so. By commenting and nagging me that I haven't blogged in a while, will hopefully encourage me to blog more. And since I seem to do better when I blog more, maybe I'll finally start losing weight.

Thanks!

Oh goodness

I stopped tracking for a few days and just now entered in what I could remember eating. Oh My Goodness did I screw up. I have 1 weekly point left (that will probably be taken up by something I know I've forgotten to track).

Now I know why my scale says what it does. If I keep eating like I am, I am quickly going to gain back everything I've lost. I am mad at myself, but hopefully I will use this to make up for lost ground. It is only Wednesday and I don't have weigh-in til Saturday.

Can I salvage this week? Well, I am going to the gym tonight to help earn back some weeklys. I am going to keep gum in my mouth and water in my bottle and try really, really hard.

I can't go back to what I weighed, I can't!

A Journey filled with Hills

So, yesterday, I woke up early and went to the gym. I felt better and when I got home, I ate a healthy breakfast.
We decided to go for a drive, and instead of buying our lunches, I packed a picnic lunch for us, which included a salad for me. Good choices so far.

We did our drive, then went to Daves Famous BBQ for dinner. I could have made wiser choices, but I didn't. But, because I made wiser choices during the day, I only went over my daily points by 9. I chose not to have a glass of wine last night. So, now, in keeping with my goal of completing the week with all my WP left over, I will have to earn 9 exercise points today. Not quite sure how I am going to do that, since I am on shift at CAMS in Portland. Maybe I can walk up and down the block.

I bought healthy sandwiches for lunch, and also bought salads. I don't know if this internal motivation has restarted, but I definitely need to keep on track with it.