We Made it to Montana

After 12 long hours and over 700 miles we made it to Montana. I am proud to report, that I am still under points for today and have had all my fruits and veggies. I took what WW emphasized yesterday and made it work for me. I knew I was going to be in dangerous situations and how would I handle each one. I am proud to admit that I managed to do just fine.

I am not saying I wasn't tempted, but I only had 1 white-chocolate-coated-coconut-haystack, instead of the 5 I usually eat from the Country Mercantile in Pasco, Washington.

Here is something funny. I didn't eat much yesterday, too busy, not hungry, had weigh-in. I ate after I got home from WW. This morning, I ate yogurt, snacked on fruit and veggies, but never got "full"  At lunch, I ate a barbecue pulled pork sandwich. I should've stopped at a half, but I ate 1/4 more and had the worst cramping belly ache. Am I shrinking my stomach down, I certainly hope so.

For dinner tonight, I knew it was going to be difficult. My future step-mother-in-law cooks the old-fashioned way with butter, butter, butter. She made lasagna and caesar salad. I filled my plate with Caesar salad (I made sure to take the stuff that had very little dressing on it, which was difficult to find) and only about a 1/2 to 3/4 cup of the lasagna, and a piece of garlic artisan bread, which was so good even without the butter I usually like to slather on it. I planned this and I followed through. Babysteps!!!!

So, tomorrow and the next day I am going to be surrounded by food. Cookies, cakes, Famous Dave's ribs, chips, dip, etc, etc, etc. Everything imaginable for a backyard, albeit casual, wedding. I am packing a lot of gum and will be carrying my water religiously.

I still have all 49 weeklys left, so that may help.

I know this is getting long, but I need to get this out. I am pretty sure I am not going to get the helicopter job I applied for. I submitted my application a week ago. I received an e-mail that confirmed they received it and they would "contact the applicants who most closely matched their needs within 10 working days." I have been around this business long enough to know that, even at 5 days, if they wanted me I would have received a phone call by now. I am pretty disappointed, but I am not letting that stop me from losing the weight. If I don't get this job, then I'll lose another 30 pounds (which I want to anyway) and apply for the other helicopter job.

Well, I've been away from my family for 10 minutes, there might be some disaster if I don't get back rather quickly.

Down a kilogram

After a week of hitting it pretty hard, I am proud to report that I am down 2.2 pounds. I only have 5.6 more to go before I am below weight for my dream job. I will run 10 miles in a rubber suit in 100 degree weather if I have to to get down. (Just kidding, I know it is dangerous to do that)

I feel pretty good about myself. I feel remotivated, not just because of the job, but because of the success I am having and feeling. I don't feel like a fat lump anymore. My clothes are fitting again. I was in my fat pants again, but now they are too big, once again. I feel like I look better. I am only 7 pounds away from where I was my lowest almost 9 months ago. I am sort of frustrated that it took me this long to get here, but here I am. I need to forgive myself for the plateau, for the giving up and for everything I do wrong. It just doesn't help me to lose weight.

The meeting leader said something pretty funny tonight, she said that WW was her AA. How true! I feel exactly that way. I am an addict to food, but since I cannot abstain from food completely, I must learn to manage my addiction as best I can.

So, I will face challenges in the next 5 days. We are traveling, once again, to Montana. There will be fast food, convenience store food, long hours in the car with nothing to do except keep from going insane. There will be a wedding, a cookout and cake. I am wearing my running shoes, packing a whole bunch of gum and praying I get through the stress of the next 5 days.

I seemed to be pretty talkative tonight, but I do need to get some sleep. 5 a.m. is going to come early.

6 days and still going strong

Today was another successful day on WW. I ate wisely, got all my veggies and fruits in and even enjoyed, (insert scandalous music here), a McDonald's McDouble and a glass of an adult beverage and popcorn. I did this all while staying on points (not using any of my weeklys). How did I do this, you ask? It is really easy when you pack nothing but veggies for snacks and lunch was a 4 point salad. I also ate 2 yogurts, which got my dairy servings in.

Did I feel like I was starving, well, yes, hence the McDouble. But, I chose wisely and didn't get fries or a soda and did get a serving of apples. (It was also mondo-cheap, $2)

I still haven't had a chance to get to the gym, insert frowny face. But, since I was in class today and will be again tomorrow, the stairs I have to walk will count for a little.

So, almost a full week back on WW and still going strong.

Yay me!

First Test - Lunch and Dinner Out

I would have to say I think I passed today's tests with flying colors.

First, I went to WW and was pleasantly surprised to learn I'd only gained 7 pounds over the 2 months I gave up on WW. I think it was a lot worse than that, but in the 2 or so weeks before hitting it hard again, I was able to lose some of it plus a lot of water weight. So, I only need to lose 7 pounds to get below flying weight.

Second, I was out and about with the kids all day and didn't plan well. I got super hungry right around lunch and I had promised the kids McDonalds for lunch. So, I got them their Happy Meals (I substitute apples for fries for them, BTW) and I chose a McDouble and a large, unsweetened, Iced Tea. Yes, the sandwich was 10 points, but I stayed away from ordering fries or a soda. Later that day, I got tasty treats for them and was able to control myself from eating more than a 1/2 cup of Moose Munch. So, while we were out and about, I ate 13 points, which isn't bad considering.

Finally, I went to a goodbye dinner at a Mexican restaurant. I drank plenty of water, controlled how many tortilla chips I ate and split chicken fajitas with a friend of mine. So, I am left with 2 points for the day and I am just going to leave it at that.

Lessons learned:

1. I can manage to eat out at all the bad places and still stay on plan and target.
2. I can allow myself to have a tasty treat as long as I control portion sizes.
3. I can go out to eat and have a delicious meal, still feel satisfied and stay under daily target.
4. I need to plan days like this and pack extra water and snacks for me and the kids, and I need to eat more veggies on days like this.

Remotivation is nice. I want to get to my goal weight this go around and just stay there instead of the past year of weight loss waxes and wanes. And, I can do it. (With a little help from my friends) And you know who you are!!!

Spin Class

I went to spin class this morning. Last spin class I went to, the instructor advised that we should drink 40 oz of water before class and at least that during and after. Wow, that is a lot of water. So, before class, I drank 24 oz. When I got to class and got going I realized that it was pretty hot in the room where we were spinning. The combination of the heat and all the fluid I drank caused me to do something that I don't think I've ever done before. I had sweat dripping off my fingertips and off the tip of my nose. I couldn't believe it, I usually don't sweat like that.

I am a little nervous. I am heading back to WW meetings for the first time in 2 months. I know I have gained in those 2 months, but I am hoping that I am down from when we got home from our trip. I feel pretty good about how I have been eating. I have been drinking all my water and eating all the vegetables. I am also avoiding white breads and other foods like that. I won't cut them completely out, but I am trying to avoid eating as much of them as I used to. Maybe that will help lose this weight.

I'll post more when I get back from the meeting.

Day 2

I have caught myself several times today putting food into my mouth without thinking about it. And, I spit it out if it wasn't good for me or if I wasn't hungry. I'll admit thought that I did snack on a bunch of veggies today, but that is because I made homemade salsa and kept popping tomatoes and peppers. Does anyone know the difference between a jalapeno and a chili pepper? They both tasted pretty darn hot to me. Also, what is the difference between pico de gallo and salsa? Because, before I cooked the salsa to get it ready to can, it sure tasted a lot like pico and my husband loved it so much he wants me to make it more often. BTW - I canned 5 pints of salsa today. The fat- free homemade yumminess!

I've been so busy with work and so has my husband that I haven't been able to get to the gym like I wanted to. And, we are pinching pennies, so I don't want to have to pay babysitters (even if they were available, but school is back in session).

I am still panicking that I won't lose weight, even though it has only been 2 days. But, my motivation feels awesome, like when I first started a year ago. What is it about September that gets me motivated to lose weight? I also, finally, sent in the application to insurance to start the reimbursement plan again. I don't know why I procrastinated so much, but I sent it in. Once I get the go ahead to start the program, I have to go to a WW meeting every week or I don't get my money back.

New Motivation

It has been a hard couple of weeks. I haven't been sticking to WW perfectly, but I am proud to say that I've lost 2.6 pounds since I last weighed in. Of course, it is 2 totally different scales, but this one is at the doctor's office. But, I am still down and that is a good thing.

I have 13 more pounds to go then I'll be at my lowest since starting WW. And, with my new motivation, it shouldn't be hard to get there now. You see, my dream job just posted an opening. It is working as a flight paramedic on a helicopter. The problem is is that I am 10 pounds over-weight. But, since I just submitted my application today, I am hoping it will take a few weeks before I have to do their physical and get weighed in.

So, I am on the super-eating-healthy kick and the super-tracking kick. I did very well today and will continue to do well. As I told someone today, I am great at maintaining. I just hit plateaus and they suck. I spoke with my PA today and we discussed plateaus. It seems I hit my set point and in order to get below that set point, I need to decrease my food even more, increase activity and try to shock my body into losing more weight. So, I have decided to cut down on the carbs, limit the amount of rice, bread and potatoes. I am not saying cut carbs out completely, but limit them and see what happens. So, here is hoping that this works.

So, if you are reading this, please send a prayer. I am really, really, really hoping this is what God wants for me, since my last 2 attempts at finding a job were disappointingly unsuccessful.

What to Do

I am trying to make a decision. I have an opportunity to start attending a WW meeting in my home town. It is Thursdays at 3:45 p.m. My neighbor goes to it and  I think having someone at the meeting, making sure I attend would help. The only problem is that this meeting doesn't accept the monthly pass that I am paying for. She will allow paying for 12 weeks at a time which is approximately the same money that I am paying for monthly pass now. If I stop paying for the monthly pass and decide that these Thursdays don't work, then I will have to go back to monthly pass at a higher rate. Her pass is accepted elsewhere, but not vice versa.

I also signed up for a 5k run in October. I figure it is good motivation to keep me out and running. It's only a 5k but I want to get done in under an hour. That is my goal.

How has the week been going? Meh. I am not gaining anymore, but I don't know if I am losing. I haven't made it back to a WW meeting to get the official weigh in. But, I know I am down from when I got back from the trip.

So, here is to, hopefully, a good day.

We Remember

Today is not a day about me. Today is not a day to whine, cry or moan about my struggles with weight loss and emotional eating.

Today is to remember and reflect on the brave souls who answered the call. Who went into those towers knowing they wouldn't come home. To the 343 (Firefighters), the 72 (Law Enforcement) and the 42 (paramedics and EMTs), I salute you.

To the Ground Zero workers who searched and now suffer ill effects, I pray for your recovery and salute you for your sacrifice.

I pray for all souls lost that day.

We are a nation of freedoms, and freedom isn't free. Thank you to our service men and women who protect our rights and serve our nation. May you rest in peace, those that have lost their lives in defense of our freedoms.

I remember, not just on the anniversaries, but every day. I live my life to the fullest. I remember to  say "I love you" everyday, because those might be the last words I say to my loved one.

I remember.....

Emotional Eating

So, Tuesday night I gave into emotional eating and ate microwave popcorn and drank some wine. I learned something that night though. Alcohol decreases inhibition, that we all learned in high school sex ed. But, it also decreases my ability to make good food choices. I don't think I would have eaten all that high-sodium, high-fat popcorn if I hadn't had a couple glasses of wine.

The good news is that Wednesday I did 35 minutes on the elliptical at the gym. I am going to the gym today to do another work-out, this time I want to do both cardio and weight training. I did eat a few things that aren't exactly the healthiest (like fig newtons) but I did limit the portion sizes and didn't eat the whole box. I also drank all my water.

I haven't decided if I am going to WW tonight or on Saturday morning. But, I am definitely going, despite having to see exactly how much I gained since July 23rd.

Yuck.

Feel pretty good

I have been making some pretty good choices the past few days, despite the horrendous stress I am feeling. I am choosing not to eat emotionally, or to drown my sorrows in a tub of frosting. I don't know how long this can last, but I hope it will be for a while.

Back home and making the change

We got home last night after an exhausting and stressful trip to Montana to visit family. Visiting the family was fun, but stress and drama did not make for the best trip.

I ate like total crap, didn't work out once and now I am paying the price. I stepped on the scale this morning and was shocked at what it said. I have some ground to make up.

And, instead of talking about going back on plan, etc, I've decided to take a different approach. I have to change the way I eat and why I eat. I know I am an emotional eater and use that as an excuse and a crutch. So, as of today, I am working to find different ways to cope with my emotional stress and eating habits. It will be work, I will fail but I will persevere. The only way to keep this weight off is to change.