Lost Motivation

Help! I am looking for my lost motivation. I just can't seem want to track my food, make wise choices and eat healthy. I know the results of going back to the way I used to eat and I don't want that. But, I also want to eat without thinking all the time. How many points is this, how many points is that, if I eat this, I'll feel guilty for eating too many points. There are times, now, when I just want to say "Forget it" I have doubts creeping in that I don't know if I can do this.

I've given away most my fat clothes. Now, I wonder if that was a good idea. I am not sure that I can keep doing this, will I have to go back to New To You and buy back my own clothes?

I look in the mirror and I see someone who has lost 30 lbs, but I have 50 left to go. How can I do this? What will my naked body look like? I already can't stand what my stomach, hips and legs look like. How saggy will I look if I lose more weight?

Today is a new day. I am going to try, again, to get back on plan. I am going to take it an hour, minute or even second at a time.

PMS Again

PMS struck again. This time, it was in the form of evil Albertson's Cookies.  I asked my dear husband to bring them home for the kids and I ended up eating half the bag. This time of the month I just can't seem to eat enough. And I paid for it. I gained 0.4 pounds. Now, that isn't so bad, considering the fact that I couldn't stop feeding the PMS monster.

I am in no mood to blog tonight, I just wanted to post my statistics. I am hoping that the evil PMS monster will leave me alone for a few weeks and I can try to lose more.

For the first time, I am having doubts that I can lose this weight. I am also having doubts that I can stay on WW, because it is so time consuming and such a life change. I am tired of it, but what is the alternative? I gain back every pound I lost AND more? I am forever unhappy (unhappier) in my fat lump of a body? I have to buy new clothes because everything is too tight? I start shopping in the 2X 3X sizes? That is unacceptable to me.

I will work on WW some more, I will get over this rough spot and I will start losing again. I just need to keep on keeping on.

I guess I am in need of a little outside encouragement too....so anything you got would be great.

Busy, busy, busy weekend

Well, it has been such an incredibly busy few days. John and I have been so busy working on the garage re-organization project and visiting with family, that I haven't had a lot of time to be on the computer, much less post to my blog.

Saturday's weigh-in went well, I lost 2.8 pounds. And, correction on my last gain, it was only 0.6, not a full pound.

This week has been so busy, and my mom has been cooking and I have been eating way too much. I only have 12 points left of my weekly points, but.... I also have 32 activity points this week. You apparently get a lot of activity points when you are physically active 8 hours a day, lifting boxes and climbing ladders.

Well, class s about to begin and I will update when the family goes home and I have a few more minutes to sit down and just breath.

Weigh In

Well, today is Thursday and I usually post my weekly loss (or gain as it was last week). I didn't go tonight. Now, don't get all on my case, I didn't skip WW because I was ashamed or anything like that. I actually did pretty well this week.

But this week is Garage Re-Organization project. My parents are in town and I was in the middle of building my mega-storage cabinet which will become my pantry. I couldn't leave in the middle of the construction. I was having too much fun building things and using power tools. Plus, it was a great father-daughter bonding time, since neither one of us could remember the last time we built something together.

My plan is to wake up early Saturday morning and go, along with every other New Year's Resolution person in McMinnville, Dayton, Amity, Sheridan and Willamina. That way, I can get my weigh in and come back and continue garage project and Jack's birthday celebration, since my baby boy will be 4 (jeez, I cannot believe he will be 4, it seems like just yesterday I gave birth to him.)

I would like to note that I had a great NSV (non-scale victory) this week. My skinny jean, size 18 (not 18W) Eddie Bauers kept falling down when I was grocery shopping. I had to get a belt to keep my pants up!!!!! Yay me!!!! The only bad part of this, I don't have any 16's to try in my closet. I haven't been a size 16, since, well, maybe 2001 and before that, heck I don't even remember. Once my other pants get this loose, I think a trip to New To You is in my future for jeans.

Well, it's late, we have a huge amount of stuff to do tomorrow and I am exhausted.

Mid Week Check Up

Okay, I haven't exactly stayed on the WW power foods this week. But, I have been eating more fruits and veggies and choosing wiser options when we have fast food. Like Friday, I had Quizno's for lunch, but I had a Turkey Cuban, no mayo, on wheat (9 points) and a Mondito from Taco Del Mar, that was flour tortilla, chicken, whole pinto beans, no rice, guacamole, salsa and very little cheese, and that was 9 points too. I added fresh fruit to each meal and for snacks.

Yesterday I was at lab and was so busy I didn't get to eat much of anything, but I packed healthy food. When I got home I still had over 20 points left for the day. I ate wisely and ate all my points and even allowed myself to have a cocktail.

Today has not been a good day. I took Julie to Burger King for chicken fries. We shared a 12 piece (she ate 6 pieces to my 5), onion rings and a coke. Yes, it was high in points, yes it was very high in sodium, but I also had a 4 point breakfast, snacked on 2 fruits and have had over my 8 glasses of water today. I also still have 45 of my 49 uh-oh points for the rest of the week.

So, flexible WW allows me to eat where I like to eat. I just choose wiser selections or less of the bad stuff and surround the bad stuff with good stuff.

Also, I am happy to report that all my retention issues have been resolved. I stepped on the scale this morning and I was pleased to see that it was way below where it was Thursday.

Until next time....

A First for Me

Well, I have the dubious distinction of having a first WW experience that I didn't want. I actually gained a pound. I am still -30 total, but I still didn't want to gain. So what happened? Especially since I tracked faithfully and had over 20 uh-oh points left.

2 things I think.

1st - yesterday, on my way home, I at a Big Mac, fries and a coke. It is very high in sodium and since I haven't been drinking all the water I was supposed to today to flush out that sodium. I probably have some water retention issues.

The next part is going to be a little personal, so if you don't want to read about my GI issues, please stop here.

2nd - I haven't gone since Monday. So, I am literally full of s*&t. I am not a stranger to constipation issues. Usually if I wait more than 2 or 3 days I take something for it, usually try prune juice, fiber, etc. If that fails, I take medication which messes my system up. Which is part of the problem I had last week. So this week I am trying to let nature take it's course without screwing up my digestive system and causing anymore cramping or gas. Which was the whole problem starting Sunday night and Monday.

So, I am going to stay on plan this week. Eat more veggies and fruit, drink all my water and see how things "go"

I just gotta persevere and keep on keeping on.

GI problem

Julie shared her GI bug with me from last Wednesday. On Sunday, I was nauseated and didn't feel like I could eat anything, Sunday night my stomach and gut kept me up. Monday morning rolled around and I felt like total crap. I couldn't stand up, I was lightheaded, even sitting up. I went and saw my doctor and he said it was probably the same bug as Julie. Rest, fluids were the answer. I didn't eat very much for the past couple of days, so I make you a bet that I am going to have a loss this week.

I am feeling better today, not as lightheaded, but still get that way if I am on my feet too much. Class was okay, didn't have to sit down in the middle of lecture.

I made a bad choice tonight. I didn't plan dinner since I wasn't hungry before class. After class was over, I realized I was hungry and guess what is right across the street. Yep, you guessed it, McDonald's. Was I smart and skipped it all together? Nope. Did I give in to temptation and get in the drive through? Yep. Did I order the smaller bad stuff? Nope. I ate a Big Mac, no I take that back, I savored the Big Mac. I knew it wasn't a healthy choice, but it tasted so dang good. I ate it slowly and enjoyed every bite! I only ate about a third of my French fries and half my coke, so I didn't go totally overboard. But I did use a whole bunch of uh-oh points.

But, I guess that is what the weekly points are for. So, weigh in tomorrow should go well, as long as all the sodium I consumed doesn't make me blow up like a balloon.

Night

Staying on Track

Well, Friday went well. I ate all my fruits and vegetables, drank 6 of my 8 glasses of water. I chose wisely for meals, making sure to eat well-rounded meals. I needed a snack and looked at a granola bar and popcorn. Both were 3 points, but the popcorn was 5 cups and the granola bar was only 1/4 cup. And, Jack and I got to share the popcorn. It was really nice.

I don't know if I am feeling better with eating healthier, it's only been 1 day. But, I feel better about myself, that I am making wiser choices.

Today, John and I are going out to lunch. We are going to share a Philly Cheesesteak at Szabos. It is huge and I will only eat 1/3 of it, to keep it low on points. See, I am planning so that I will eat well.

Time to get ready to go to the coast.

Pennies lead to dollars

I lost 0.6 tonight. I am glad that I didn't gain, not exactly pleased with how little I lost. But, to be perfectly honest, my eating habits this week weren't very good. I was eating like I did before I started WW, just less of it. Instead of the "Value Meal" I would get a single item and pair it with veggies, or, more usually, nothing else. So, to sum it all up, I've eaten like crap this past week, so I really shouldn't be surprised that I didn't lose more than I wanted to.

Here's the rub. On the old system, I could eat like I have been this past week and not feel so guilty for using my points. With this new system, the way I was and am eating, costs more so I run out of points more quickly, thus I use my uh-oh points and get really, really close to gaining weight.

Tonight, sitting in the meeting, I realized that I have to change the way I eat. I have fallen back on my ways that got me fat in the first place. I had started on that slippery slope again. Even though I am losing a little weight at a time, it probably isn't doing anything for my heart and my energy level. I need to eat more veggies, fruits, whole grains and lean protein. I should not rely on McDonald's, Taco Bell, Subway to be my chef. I need to put the effort back into pre-planning my meals, or at least have contingency plans.

Tomorrow is a new day. I am going to work the program and try to find morning breakfast and take it a meal and a snack at a time. Maybe, just maybe, I'll eat more bulk and feel more satisfied. I'll let you know of my progress.

PS - not that this excuses anything, but sick kids, stressed out spouses and overall exhaustion DO NOT help the new eating habits. Good night and til next time.

30 pounds in 16 weeks

I just realized I hadn't posted in almost a week. Amazingly, somehow, I lost the exact 0.4 pounds I needed (so long as I took off my watch, necklace, socks, etc) and got my 30 lbs. That was my personal goal of wanting to lose 30 before the end of the year, which I did. Woo Hoo.

While at the meeting with Sandy, she and I talked about how we hadn't been so good with tracking and eating. We made a deal with each other, we would text or call or e-mail to make sure we are doing our tracking. It worked, I have been faithfully tracking all week.

New Year's Eve wasn't the best day for me and I am pretty sure I forgot to track some of the food I ate, but it is Wednesday, and I still have 25 uh-oh points left over so I think I am going to lose this week.

It has helped that I have gone back to work (I don't know why, but when I work, I don't eat as much) and it also helped that I went shopping at New To You and realized I fit in size 16 jackets and coats. Wooooooo Hoooooo! I cannot tell you how good it feels to realize you are almost into regular size clothing.

My next mini-goal is to get to my wedding weight by the end of January, so it's 7.6 pounds to go. I can do it.

Okay, so I promise to post more often because it helps me keep on track. Until next time.