Again

Again, I am trying. I am struggling, but I am hanging in there. I had all the greatest intentions in the world to wake up early this morning and go to the gym. I even asked hubby to wake me up with him, so I could go when he was getting ready for work and be back by the time he had to leave. That was until my daughter decided to not sleep very well. Poor girl had a nightmare and screamed for mommy. It was such a heart-breaking sound. We ended up on the couch from 1030 to 3:30, when I put her back to bed and she finally slept. I, however, did not get back to sleep very well.

I did, however, bring workout clothes to Molalla with me so that I can work out while I am on shift. I am going to try to run for 60 min today. (Well, 2 min increments - walk 2, jog 2) so that I can get a lot of activity points. I am in the negative for weekly points right now and want to earn some back. I also packed lunch and dinner and healthy snacks. (Unfortunately, some snacks I bought thinking they were healthy were really 3 points. It just goes to show you that if something tastes good it has a lot of points.)

I constantly have a dialogue with myself regarding eating. I crave certain foods and I have to struggle with myself to say, hey, if you want that helicopter job, you need to lose some more weight. I have to remind myself that I am not happy with the weight I am at, and want to lose at least 20 more. I really doubt I am going to get to my ultimate weight, even though I will try. Lately, for the most part, I have been winning my debates. But, when I don't, I truly screw up.

Not to transfer blame, but I was doing so much better on the old system. That old system, I could eat like I was used to, just much less and lose the weight. This new system forces you to eat in a way that I am not happy with and frankly doesn't fit my lifestyle. I wish I hadn't gotten rid of my old calculator and the old stuff. If I could find all that old stuff, and maybe an old on-line tracker, I could go back to that and see if I started losing weight again.

Well, this has been a long blog but has been very cathartic. My goal is to blog at least once a day, maybe more.

Now - here is a favor for all of you who read this. Please leave a comment for me, especially when I haven't blogged in a day or so. By commenting and nagging me that I haven't blogged in a while, will hopefully encourage me to blog more. And since I seem to do better when I blog more, maybe I'll finally start losing weight.

Thanks!