Major Breakdown

Last night I had a major breakdown. I mean illogical, uncontrollable crying that was only made worse when someone was trying to be nice kind of crying. Why, you may ask? Hell if I know, is my answer. I am hoping it has something to do with PMS and hormones and the 2 glasses of wine I had last night.

Let me set the stage - I am in Montana (don't want to be here) at my father-in-law's wedding rehearsal dinner. It is me, my husband and my kids surrounded by my FIL's fiancee's family (about 25 - 30) including at least a dozen or more kids. I feel completely alone and socially awkward since I can't remember anyone's name. My husband is being a social butterfly and able to talk to anyone. I am trying to watch my kids, but they are running around and I can't keep track of them. (I did try to relax and just let them be, but I found a complete stranger (the pastor's wife, at least I knew her) comforting my daughter because she got scared about something and I wasn't there for her).

A bratty 5 year-old bully was hogging the soccer ball all night. My son was playing nicely and the bratty boy finally dropped the ball and played with something else. My son picked it up, this brat came and tried to wrestle it out of his hands. Jack was holding his own and I had finally had enough of this brat and the soccer ball so I was going to take it away. His mom came down and started wrestling the ball away from him and I got close so I could get the ball and resolve the problem. She got in my face and said it was her kid and she would handle it. I simply stated that I am taking the soccer ball away so it wouldn't cause anymore problems. A minor skirmish with another mother. But add everything together, being so alone and exhausted, I just sat on the deck trying to hold it together and still watch the kids. My future step-mother-in-law saw me and asked what was wrong and I just lost it. Then, John came over and asked what was wrong, I was trying to stop crying, trying to tell everyone I was okay, I was exhausted and overloaded and it wasn't the confrontation, but a sum of all parts. John just said swore and walked away. I had another 2 hours to face these people that I didn't know, knowing that all of them knew I had a breakdown. My folks got in around 11 and once I saw them and got a hug, I started crying all over again. (Hell, as I am typing this, I am crying again.)

Finally, we all got to bed around 11. I laid in bed thinking about the whole evening and couldn't get my mind to stop.

So, what did last night's horrendous time do to my efforts to eat better. Well, I had 1 small sub sandwich, 1 serving of whole grain chips, 2 tbsp of dip, 1 1/2 cookies and 2 glasses of wine. There weren't many options for low fat eating. Even though I went over on daily points, I still have 35 weekly points left for the week. Which, my new week starts today, so I think I did pretty well considering everything.

Well, time to go be sociable again, and here is hoping for a much better day.