So, the wedding was Saturday and I really tried to be good. I did stay away from a whole lotta bad stuff, but I couldn't remember everything I ate so I didn't log.
Then, the drive home Sunday royally sucked, because hubby and I had a heart-to-heart about life, finances and me going back to work. It was a very depressing day and I didn't have a lot of good options for good food choices either, so I was way over on points. But, at least, I tried to log it all.
Monday, a little better. I knew we were going to dinner at my favorite Chinese restaurant and I did save my points and plan for what I would eat and how much. I did well and stayed below points today.
Tuesday, about the same as Monday. We were out and about with my FIL and his new wife, but made wiser choices and once again, came under points for the day.
The big things eating at me right now, no pun intended, are the fact that I am still stressing and thinking about the bitch and her devil-spawn from the wedding, even though I have told myself a couple of hundred times to stop obsessing about it. That I don't have a lot of good options for going back to work, but if I ever want to retire I need to go back to work. That I feel like a huge has-been that no one remembers that I am a good medic, a good worker and all the good I once did. Now, in returning to the work-force, I am competing against people with less experience but more youth, strength and vigor. There is a job in town that is coming open and it would be an ideal situation, if not for the fact that my husband used to work there and I used to work for the neighboring department. So, there is a lot of baggage there on both sides if I were to even apply. That I didn't even get a call from the flight medic people even though I probably have more experience than any other candidate, the only thing holding me back is I am not actively working full-time in the field. And, that my darling husband, fears that I am going to get killed on the job when the helicopter crashes, leaving him alone to raise the kids.
So, still not happy with life right now and have no idea what to do. All I do know is I need to do something, because what I am doing right now is killing me. Working 2-3 hours here and there, with an hour commute each way doesn't make for a predictable life. Then, trying to add in WW and working out, I am not home too much it seems.
I feel like things are pretty bad right now. But, I have this bad feeling things are going to get worse before they get better.
I know, a depressing post, but on the bright side, at least I am not drowning my sorrows in a bucket of Tillamook Mudslide Ice Cream
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